Do what you love

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life – Confucius

Okay.  How do find out what you love? Once you do find it, how do you make a living at it so you can continue to do it?

Some days I’m super excited to write and dream of a day when it’s all I have to do.  Other days I wonder if I even like writing, much less love it.

Does loving it mean that even when you seemingly hate it, you still have a desire to do it? (Which I do.)

Part of what makes me question this I think stems from the fact that most of the time when I’m fired up to write, I’m in a situation where it’s just not possible.  Even to jot things down to work on later or put notes in my phone.  Then when I finally get a chance, both the excitement and the inspiration have faded and I’m left wondering why I was so excited because only bits and pieces of the idea are left.

Are these just normal writerly ups and downs?

Being seen

I have this anxiety about anyone seeing me write.  I’m not even concerned they’ll see what I’m writing, just that they will see me in the act.  I have no idea where this comes from.  It doesn’t matter if I know the person or if it’s a total stranger.  I often write in my car during my lunch break.  If I spot anyone in the parking lot that I think may walk past my car, I scrambe to stash everything and act like I’m looking at my phone.  Maybe it stems from some childhood bullying incident.  There were so many, I can’t remember what they all entailed. I’m sure their lingering psychological effects are abundant.  Or maybe it’s because I don’t want to answer questions about what I’m doing?  My response would be “none of your business”, but still. Though I seriously doubt anyone I know would ever ask.  I think there’s an unspoken rule not to ask the weird one too many questions :p

Still keeping at it…

Goal check lists and keeping an idea book with me has helped tremendously lately. I am the type of person who gets great satisfaction from marking items off to do lists.  I write anything in the idea book that can be used as a prompt later on.  Most of the ideas are for journaling for flash fiction.  I’ve found I’m pretty good with short writing bursts and end up doing more in little bits than when I try to sit down and commit a few hours.  Less pressure maybe?

This is the first week I’m on track to accomplish everything on my check list (yes, posting a blog is on the list) and I’m feeling pretty accomplished.  In previous weeks a combo of adulting, getting ready for and recovering from vacation (and probably fear as it always lingers there) prevented me from doing all the writing related projects I wanted.  For now, I seem to be past some of the fear.  Daily writing really helps.  Also I realized writing early in the day is better than putting it off.  If I write early, I get excited and actually make time to write later because I want to find out what happens next.

I naturally left the biggest task this week for last.  I still have a few hours until midnight though so I feel like I’ll get it done.  I’ve exceeded a few of my other goals.  The temptation to allow myself to slack on the larger goals using the exceeding of other goals as justification is strong.  I am resisting.

I’m using Sunday as my to do list start day (because Monday’s suck).  So tomorrow I’m going to spend the early part of the day tackling the week’s big projects and get them out of the way.

Off to finish the list!

Getting back in a routine

Writing has been put on hold for most of July so far due to getting ready for vacation, then going on vacation (to Comic Con) then catching up on life and bill paying job stuff when I got back.  This week I’ve been trying to get back into a daily writing routine.  Well, every-other-daily at this point.  I realized I’m kind of tired of the story I was working on before I left so I’ve been doing some flash fiction prompts.  Those have been more fun than I anticipated!  They’ve been keeping me looking forward to which prompt is next instead of worrying if I’ll have any ideas when I get an chance to sit down and write.

No school nurses.

I’ve always known that if I ever really got myself writing, I’d end up with either YA or a weird memoir.  My memoir would start out a little something like this…

My great grandparents on both sides of my mom’s family have the same last name.  No one has questioned this.

For now, I’m going the YA route.  Now that I’ve gotten a good chunck of the story down, I’m excited about it!  I want to know what happens next each day.  

There are a lot of aspects of YA that, while I understand, I never experienced.  Like school nurses.  We never had a school nurse.  I think a couple of teachers kept a box of band aids.  If you were sick, you were sent home for someone else to deal with.  Are school nurses common in real life or do they just lend themselves to plot points?

And the parents.  How to write the parents.  I’m hoping to avoid this since my protagonist is a high school senior. There’s more freedom and less parental involvement at that point, right?  There has to be some, for sure.  But I’m not sure if I should go with supportive and trusting, overprotective and hovering, ditzy and distant…I just don’t know at this point where or how a parent fits into this story.  Maybe I can send them away for work? Hmm…

new plan!

This weekend in an effort to make my space more writing friendly, I moved my desk to a central part of the house.  Now I have my animals around me as I work and don’t feel like I’m neglecting them.  I’m also trying out the Chuck Wendig No Fuckery Writing Plan.  This is manageable. This is exactly what I needed.  All the other stuff says “write every day!” so I totally let myself by with only writing one sentence and reward myself with ice cream. 350 words is an achievable number though.  I don’t feel overwhelmed and so far don’t dread trying to hit it. So I now have my inspiration to finally try doing what I want (thank you, Amanda Palmer), a story idea that I’m excited about (thank you, to this fine Skillshare instructor), an attainable goal (thank you, Chuck Wendig), a mighty fine craft resource (thank you, Stephen King), and a damn good motivational resource (thank you, Austin Kleon).  Now, let’s see what I do with it all.

Not much but at least it’s something

Well, the pesky bill paying job has been interfering the past few days but I’ve been getting a few paragraphs in during lunch.  30 minute lunch breaks are ridiculous, by the way.  I’ve started a new Skillshare class that encourages meditation before writing to clear mental clutter.  I also feel like writing this helps with the mental clutter to since I find I’m tending to unload a bit of it here.  I’m going to strive to get as much writing in as possible during this long holiday weekend.  I’m moving my desk and computer to another room, which hopefully will help a bit.

For fun, here’s my dog with a bag over his head.