First!

Welcome to the blog that I’ll probably abandon in three days! Seriously, I have so many orphaned blogs out there. I actually just found a partial post I’d written for last year’s “IMMA BLOGGER NOW WOOOO” phase. It was dated April12, 2014. So, my spurts are apparently cyclical. My goal here (having a goal and paying money for a domain are my ways of trying to keep myself going this time) is accountability. I want to write. I’ve wanted to write for years. Since I was 10, at least. That’s the first time I remember writing a story then trashing it. It was about vampires and werewolves – which I really regret trashing now. I wanted to be like my hero, Stephen King. We’ll likely delve into why I wasn’t reading Goosebumps or Sweet Valley High like the other girls later on (look at me all planning another post already). But anyway, since I trashed that first story, I trashed every subsequent story, diary, journal entry, word processor floppy disc, computer document, journaling app, and IPhone note that could in anyway give a glimpse into my creativity, my thoughts or how I was feeling. If I wrote it, I trashed it. Now, I’m seemingly stuck in a career I do not and have never enjoyed. I still want to write. We won’t get into my failed NANOWRIMO attempts just yet. I still have piles of journals with pages torn out. Yes,I admit to trashing some just last week. I just want to sip tea and write all day. When I have days when it’s possible to sip tea and write all day, the fear tells me I can’t because what if someone READS IT!? We can’t have that, why don’t you just go do some laundry instead. I’m currently experiencing a bout of inspiration brought on by reading The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer. I’ve read countless books and blogs with the just fucking do it approach, but this one has really hit me hard. Maybe because I read it when I actually have what I think might be a good story rolling around in my head and I crave the extra push to get started. So here is where my accountability comes in. While I don’t know if I will ever let anyone see this story I want to write, I’m determined to finish it. I plan on chronicling my progress, struggles, questions, and fears here (lots of fears, lots and lots of fears). I will write this so I will write that. Does that make sense? It does in my head. Also, every author I love blogs so there must be some correlation to blogging and the ability to write awesomeness, right? My introverted self inexplicably feels the need to have people on this quest with me. Off we go then!

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